I am pen. I am paper. I am Nobe.

These are jokes that cracked me up today. Enjoy!

ATE: Pabili ng pilis.
TINDERA: Ano po?
ATE: Pilis po!
TINTERA: Ha? Dilis?
ATE: Pilis po.
TINDERA: Ano? Philip?
ATE: Pilis nga! Yung nudols.

~

AMO: Inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay. (nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: Oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks! (Nosebleed! Nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday! Hahaha!)

~

Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa Museum, yung attendant nataranta.
ATTENDANT: Naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase.
ERAP: Hay salamat. Akala ko bago!

~

BOY: Is this your first time?
GIRL: (angrily) Oo naman noh! You guys talaga, so kuleeet. You're always asking me the same question-- paulit-ulit! Hmp!

~

STUDENT: Ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa?
TEACHER: Natural hindi.
STUDENT: Good, di ko po ginawa assignment ko!

~

CABINET MEMBER: Mr. President our population growth rate is very alarming, there is 1
Woman giving birth every minute!
ERAP: We have to stop this and look for that woman!

~

TEACHER: Class give an example of amphibians.

PEDRO: Ahhh.. frog ma'am.

TEACHER: Very good! Ikaw Juan, another example of amphibians.

JUAN: Another frog ma'am!


Love,
Nobe